but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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