so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
