What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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