My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
