One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
