Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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