can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
