Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
