So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
