Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
