is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
