I hate all girls vehemently.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I lost the right to judge tonight
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
