I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
