Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Randomize
