A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
