i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
