just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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