I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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