its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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