you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
