Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
