I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
