3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
A+ Viking dick
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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