And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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