Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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