Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
