you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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