Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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