you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
