This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
