She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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