it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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