so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
