How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
