I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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