my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
