It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
