so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
