Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
