things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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