You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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