***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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