I smell stomach acid.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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