That's intense
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
