Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
