Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
