Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
