No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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