I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
