Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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