My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
