We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
